I’ve been trying to be more social lately - by stretching the number of people I frequently communicate with - essentially stretching Dunbar’s number far from 150. Dunbar’s number is like we’re born with a set amount of care currency, which is limited to 150 people. I’m not a big fan of Dunbar’s number because I think it’s the reason people engage in misanthropic behavior. As we approach the limit of 150 people, we start to label new people we encounter as The Other. We either stop caring (in the case of being inconsiderate towards commuters) or we become hostile to those who are seemingly different, thereby starting feuds, wars and so forth.
So I’ve recently tried to stretch far beyond 150 just to see if it’s possible. After all, expanding one’s network is always good for developing one’s career and personal brand.
But I think this social experiment is causing terrible physiological consequences on me. I now have the worse flu I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve had it for 7 days now. I sleep almost 20 hours a day. My nose is blocked. My ears are blocked, so blocked I have to struggle to hear myself think. It’s as if my body is trying to close up against the world - like I had a sort of people-overdose and now my body is forcing me to be anti-social. It’s like I now have a care currency deficit and my body is trying to grow more care currency to recover.
Which leads me to think that whoever said love is free and abundant is misguided. There is a limit to how many people we can love and care about - and I suspect that limit is genetic. While there are Mother Teresas who can care for the whole world, there are others like me who are perhaps born with a much lower amount of care currency. Or perhaps she sees the whole world as one being - essentially cheating her mind into thinking it’s 1 person.
Trying to surpass the limit I was born with is tantamount to suicide. It causes some sort of fundamental imbalance. It’s like I spent all my care towards the world and I have none left for myself.
